How to help an underperforming team member?

Do you have responsibility for this person (lead, mentor, onboarding buddy) or only interest? This is important because how much you need to be involved depends a lot on this.

Regardless, you need to understand how they feel. Don’t come in guns blazing telling them how they need to improve. Come in gently, ready to have a vulnerable conversation in a safe space. Get a self-assessment from them first. How are you feeling about progress so far? Are there any areas you need more support in? See what they think. If they don’t think they are doing poorly, you asserting it as a “3rd party peer” is inappropriate and could be a set back. It might cause more resistance, incite fear, etc.

If they know they’re behind, you can again look at what could better support them. They aren’t beholden to you to share if there are extenuating circumstances impacting this. I opened up to my team at Meta that I’d botched my meds and fallen into deep depression that affected my performance, but I don’t expect most people to be comfortable doing that. How it got to this point has some relevance, but what’s next is more important.

If they share concrete support they need, there’s a chance you can’t provide it yourself. This is another place where what your relationship is matters. If you’re only an interested peer, and they need more clearly scoped work, you may not be able to do anything. If they tell you, open up, are clear, but then you’re unable to help this is rough.

I think, and I don’t know the circumstances, that you should be volunteering as a resource more than trying to bottom out all of the issues. Telling your manager that you really want to help support person X finish ramp up may be a way to do this without further complications.

I know this is sort of meandering because it’s hard to cover all bases since I don’t know the details. I’ve been the concerned peer and the responsible individual. I’ve been the person flailing/failing. This is delicate and I’d just caution you setting a tone or making commitments to this person that isn’t your place.

As a prolific mentor (I grew 15+ engineers back at Meta), I've been on this side, and it's tricky with low-performers. Zooming out, there is another question you should ask yourself: Should I be helping this person?

Here are some ways to figure that out:

• Are they easy to work with? - Let's say they are dismissive of feedback and are kind of a jerk to people in general. A problem that deep I would leave to the manager - That's really hard for you to correct, and this person was sort of destined for failure anyways. However, if they're genuinely kind and enjoyable to work with, this could be a case where you invest some time trying to help.
• What level are they? - Impact doesn't only apply to code and projects, it applies to mentorship as well. It's much higher impact saving a senior/staff engineer than it is to save a junior engineer. If they're on the upper end of the level spectrum, this is another + for helping them.
• What does your manager think? - This is 100% the kind of stuff you should clear with your manager first before really diving in. Also, if they have been on the team for 3+ months (which your question seems to hint at), this probably requires deeper intervention like a PIP.

The reason I bring this up is because of this harsh reality: Investing too much in low performers can take you down with them. It hurts me to say this as I'm the type of person who tries to save everyone (I have spent many, many hours trying to recover low-performers), but at the end of the day, you need to be pragmatic and protect yourself first.

If you do decide to help this person, I have the following resources:

• "How to ramp up a slow learner?" - You need to teach them how to fish, not just give them fish.
• My in-depth case study on how I mentored SWEs at Meta - It also has information on how to identify a good mentee candidate.
• Our masterclass on onboarding effectively - Since you're on the other side, just take the core points from it and share them with this person. In particular if they still need hand-holding after all this time, I recommend pair programming with them and making sure you really take the time explaining the systems and frameworks you use to craft your solutions. Teach them how to fish!

Best of luck!